It’s crazy sauce that we are here already. I honestly don’t remember November. It’s like one long, writing induced coma that I woke up from and suddenly it’s cold.
But what really surprised me is how much I miss it.
I’ve been listening to the new Disney movie Frozen’s soundtrack since seeing it last Wednesday and there’s this song on there about letting go and BEING, having no fear in who you are. As I drove and listened to it last night, all I could think was, “Man, Mike [my main character] really needs to do this, just let go, I can’t wait to write it for him!” And then I remembered I was taking a day off to rest and I got sad because I missed him. He’d become a friend to me in the craziness of last month, and who takes a day off from friendship?
I also really miss wearing dresses. I don’t know if I talked about it on here but I challenged myself to wear dresses for two weeks straight, basically because I often forget my femininity. It didn’t take long for me to have an emotional freak out about it (my texts on day three are quite funny NOW) but it turned out to be so good. In fact, it was hard for me NOT to put on a dress this morning. (Until I got out from under the covers and realized COLD.)
I think I thrive under siege, taking conflict and chaos in stride and functioning so well that when there is no conflict, I loose all sense of purpose.
Well. That’s not going to happen. Because after all, we keep moving forward.
I DID IT. IT’S DONE. 50000 WORDS IN 30 DAYS (and really 30000 words in 8 days)
And the funny thing is, I’m MAYYYYBE halfway into the story. But I’m so shocked. And excited. And just. Like.
It happened. How on earth did that happen?
I mean, not to get all spiritual on you or anything, but I really don’t think I could have finished this if it weren’t a God thing. It’s not about persistency and determination, I have those in spades and yes they definitely helped, but this story is so important to me; why I became a storyteller and why I believe storytelling is in my bones. Near the end I started treating writing sessions like my devotional time and it got me to crazy emotional places that I don’t think I would have ever gotten to without Him.
And it’s weird and I’ve never heard a writer say that before. But I’m saying it. Because there’s really no other way certain moments in the story happened. There’s no other way I finished like this.
EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION I WROTE 4000 WORDS YESTERDAY.
I’m literally in shock. I don’t even know how it happened. The scenes I wrote were so compelling and interesting to me that I just wanted to keep going and see all the crap hit the fan because IT DID. Probably too much and probably not very good writing but I think it’s important to celebrate the reality while still firmly grounded.
I’ll be at 40000 words tomorrow. And THREE WHOLE DAYS OFF TO FINISH. Granted, I also have, like, holiday stuff to do (Happy Thanksgiving and Hanukkah to you all) and we’re going to see Frozen at the El Capitan tonight which I am really looking forward to though it will probably make it unlikely I’ll get my words done tonight but I just…
16 years ago today my baby brother was born, just two days before my mama! I’m so so grateful for him, for all my brothers and my sister. I went to see the Doctor Who anniversary special last night and it made me miss them like CRAZY.
I come from a family of nerds in the best sense. We have bonded over being fangirls/boys about things before we even knew what being a fangirl really meant. I feel like most of my life can be summed up by quoting Muppet Treasure Island and Aladdin and the King of Thieves, or reminiscing over an A-Team or Hogan’s Hero episode (like the one with Newkirk DID HE EVER ESCAPE?!)
Doctor Who definitely became one of those shows for me and my two youngest brothers. And though I’m so far away, I’m really grateful that I can text them and say OMG FEELS and they know exactly what I mean.
I like the fact that story breaches the distance gap.
ALSO CAN I SAY THAT I WROTE 2000 WORDS THIS MORNING BC I TOTALLY DID CAN WE JUST.
Today has already been a day of victory — I took a shower, I got breakfast AND I BROKE 20000 WORDS.
There’s a prideful part of me that is ashamed to admit that THAT’S only how far I am. It’s a week and a day away from the deadline and this mile marker feels so far from the end of the marathon. At this point last year I was almost done, spurred on by a frenzied whirlwind of writing and it’s frustrating to compare the two or even compare my speed to others.
Because that’s what you do when you broach uncharted territory, right? You look to see what’s happened before, you judge your distance by the courses that have already been plotted.
But if you’re anything like me, you get quickly discouraged and ready to give up because your path looks NOTHING like those that have gone before you.
I think what I need to do instead is to converse but not compare. Talk to other people about their courses, compare and contrast. Use the information they have to help figure out the best new course to take, content in the understanding that we blaze our own trails through life, we don’t follow someone else’s.